• THE LETTERS

Letter of JUANITA to her brother Miguel.

This letter was written the very day Juanita entered the Carmel. Miguel, elder brother of Juanita, was a poet and used to live a marginal life.

May 7, 1919

My dear brother,

Before leaving I wanted to write you this letter to express the immense affection I've had for you all my life. I have felt at the same time so much affection and such great compassion for you.

I understand, even though you never told me, that you're suffering; that you are a soul torn to pieces. Still, I often wanted to touch that wound, but your reserved character kept it from me. What could I do but be silent and pray for you. If you had known how much I wept for you, you would have listened to everything my soul wanted to tell you. But perhaps you didn't want to hear a nun's advice. Yes, I will be a nun, but I'll always have a sisters' heart for you. I'll always keep watch over you from the convent and I'll accompany you everywhere with my poor prayers.

May you never, dear Miguel, lose your faith. I'd rather die and offer myself in sacrifice than see your soul lose its way. Promise me that every day you'll recite an "Ave Maria" to the Most Holy Virgin that she may bring you salvation, and please keep this crucifix and wear it always as a remembrance of your sister. I have always had it with me.

I feel immense pain at leaving you, but God is sustaining me giving me strength to break the closest bonds on earth.

Believe me, my whole life will be a continual sacrifice of myself for you, that you may be a good Christian. Remember your Carmelite sister. When passions and friends want to immerse you in the abyss, your sister will always be at the foot of the holy altar begging strength for you. Remember that while you're giving yourself over to pleasures, she, behind the grills of her cloister, will be subjecting her body to the harshest of penances. Yes, Miguel, I love you madly and, if it were necessary to lose my life that you might return to the right path and begin living a true Christian life, here is my life in God's hands. I'll accept even martyrdom as long as when these many days of exile pass away, we will find ourselves re-united forever in God.

Goodbye, my dear brother. Forgive me all the suffering I've caused you. It wasn't done intentionally. Please don't forget your sister who loves you so.

Juana.

(Letter No. 93, trans. Michael D. Griffin, Teresian Charism Press, 1994)

Photo ; Miguel her brother.